


Who Told You Love Was Fleeting?

by BlackWave



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gen, Harassment, OT5, Stalking, allusions to drug use, glib treatment of serious issues, idek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-22
Updated: 2012-08-22
Packaged: 2017-11-12 16:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackWave/pseuds/BlackWave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For <a href="http://kink1d.livejournal.com/791.html?thread=6679#t6679">this</a> kinkmeme prompt. </p>
<p>@JoshDevineDrums why were u stalkin my house tonight! Your wierd! Hahaha! Cya Friday brooooo!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Told You Love Was Fleeting?

**Author's Note:**

> **Trigger warning for stalking and harassment.** These are treated with some levity. If anything below is upsetting or offensive, please let me know so that I can fix it. 
> 
> Title from _A Gentleman Caller_ by Cursive

Zayn's being dragged around the rehearsal room by his ankles. The band are packing up and he's _so tired_ , can't be bothered to move when Louis abandons him by the door and goes to torment someone else. Niall's talking to Josh by the drums, just loud enough that Zayn can pick up on the conversation. 

"Was that you knocking for me last night?"

"Yeah, sorry man."

"It's ok. Sorry I didn't answer, it's just, you know, it was three am." 

Zayn feels the vague warmth of satisfaction wash over him. Niall always lets him in, even at three am. Even after that time he was sick in one of his supras.

"Shit, I know. I'm really sorry. I was so, _so_ drunk."

Zayn's dimly surprised. It's unprofessional to spend all night drinking before a rehearsal day. He knows, because that's what Paul said to him and Louis after they'd slouched in late that morning. 

"Yeah, I worked that out," says Niall, and he's smiling and Josh smiles back and Zayn falls asleep on the floor.

 

He forgets all about it until they have rehearsal again the following Monday. Josh stares at Niall the whole time, fumbles his parts a few times. Either Zayn's reading into things, or everyone else is very, very unobservant, because no one mentions anything at all. 

Zayn pulls Niall aside when they break for lunch.

"Is everything ok?"

Niall's not really paying attention. He's looking over Zayn's shoulder, watching Louis and Liam pretend to knock each other to the ground.

"Hmm? What d'you mean?"

"With Josh. Have you two fallen out or something? He's looking at you like - I don't know. Are you arguing?"

Niall looks over to where Josh is working something out on his drums. He shrugs. "Nah, we're good. Paranoia finally kicking in, is it Malik?"

Zayn grins and reaches out to ruffle Niall's hair. "Must be."

***

He switches to smoking exclusively cigarettes, but things are still weird. There's a break in rehearsals for promo and interviews and he doesn't see Josh for almost a week. He sees Niall, obviously. He sees Niall looking more tired than he should, face a starker shade of pale and eyelids always blinking slow and sleepy.

"Go to bed earlier," he hears Liam say. Niall just opens his mouth and yawns wide and obnoxious in Liam's face. 

They're meant to go out on Friday, but Niall says he's not in the mood. Zayn agrees - dodging fans and smiling for the paparazzi doesn't sound particularly appealing to him at the moment, either. They stay in and drink crappy beer and expensive vodka and watch Newsnight and Grand Designs until they fall asleep on Niall's sofa.

The next thing Zayn's aware of is a phone ringing. He sits up and a blanket slides to the floor. 

It's dark and he's alone. 

It's not his phone, that's still in his pocket. So it must be Niall's. 

Zayn waits. 

He gets up because the phone's still going and he needs it to not, so that he can go back to sleep. He's right outside Niall's room when the ringing stops and Niall says "Hello?"

Zayn's heart jumps before he realizes that Niall's not talking to _him_. He's about to turn and walk away, because he's not the type of person to listen in on his mate's early morning phone calls, but Niall's next words make his feet catch on the carpet.

"You've got to stop doing this."

He can't hear what the person on the other end is saying.

"It's worse if you're drunk. You can't drink like this every night."

Niall sounds upset. Zayn doesn't like thinking of Niall as anything other than completely happy all the time. 

"I'm worried about you, Josh."

Zayn makes a shocked face even though no-one's there to see it. _Josh?_ Josh is reliable, reliably ok. Apart from the sound of Niall's voice, the world is quiet and dim. Zayn still feels a bit drunk. 

There's a long silence, so long that he wonders if maybe Niall's hung up and gone back to bed. He closes his eyes and leans his head against the wall.

"Josh...you can't say stuff like that."

It doesn't sound like Niall, his voice cracked and wrecked, and suddenly Zayn's wide awake. 

"I'm going to hang up now. Go to sleep. I'll see you on Thursday, yeah?"

The phone clatters onto the beside table. 

Zayn listens to Niall breathing on the other side of the door, hears an exhaled " _Fuck._ " 

He hesitates. He wants to make sure Niall's ok, but he shouldn't have been listening. And if Niall wanted to talk, he'd talk. 

Zayn turns and pads back to the couch.

***

There's a hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake. He moans and swats at air. Niall laughs.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty."

Niall makes them both instant coffee and flops down onto Zayn's shins. He moans again, but pulls his legs out from under Niall and shuffles up to make room. They sip at their coffee in sleepy silence. 

Niall's in a good mood, or maybe it just looks like that next to Zayn's typical morning one. In the cold light of day the previous night's events seem over-dramatic, blown up by alcohol and dark corridors. 

"Hey, Zayn."

"Mm."

"I'm worried about Josh."

Zayn splutters and Niall thumps him hard on the back.

"Ow! Christ, Niall."

"Sorry, sorry."

Zayn decides to feign ignorance. "What about Josh?"

Niall goes slightly pink, rubs behind his ear. "He's been calling me."

"OK?"

"No, but like. A lot. And all the time. And he's been saying weird stuff."

"Like what weird stuff?"

Niall bites his lip, but then he takes his phone out of his pocket, taps at the screen before handing it over. Voice mail. 

"He called me a few nights ago but I never answered."

Zayn hits play and puts the phone to his ear.

"Niall. Niall. Niall Niall Niall. Niaaaaall. I'm a bit drunk. But I think I love you, Niall." Zayn's eyes flick to Niall. "I love you so much. I want to come over. I know it's late, but I want to come over. Let me in this time, yeah? Niall. Niall. Niall Niall Niall. I'll see you in a bit."

Zayn stares at the phone in his hand. "Well."

"Do you think he's ok?"

Zayn bites his lip. He doesn't _sound_ ok. But it's _Josh_. "He was drunk, right?"

Niall gives him half a smile, like he's glad Zayn's picked up on what he's been clinging to. "Yeah, that's what I thought." His smile fades. 

"He's been calling a lot?"

"Mm." Niall opens his mouth and closes it again, like he doesn't know if he wants to say what he's going to. "He always says he's drunk, but sometimes, y'know, it doesn't sound like he is."

Zayn swallows. "Did he come over?" He gestures to the phone.

Niall licks his lips. "Yes."

"What was he like? I mean, did he seem...alright?"

Niall shakes his head. "I didn't want to let him in." 

Zayn doesn't really know what to say. He's feels all muddled, needs at least another cup of coffee before he can get things straight in his head, two before he can contemplate giving advice.

He hangs around until Niall gives in and makes him scrambled eggs for lunch. After that he feels a little more human and like everything's a lot more manageable. He's ready to give talking about Josh another go, but Niall beats him to it. 

"It's not so bad."

Zayn agrees. "So obviously he's got a...thing for you." He flaps a hand at Niall. "I don't suppose you fancy him, do you?"

Niall looks at Zayn incredulously, smiles back when Zayn grins at him. "Nope. My heart belongs to another."

"Others." 

Niall nods. 

"So he fancies you and he drunk dials you to declare his love. Everyone does that. That's normal. Tell him sorry but you don't fancy him back, and that's it."

Niall stares. "I _have_ told him I don't fancy him back. And I told him to stop calling, and to stop getting pissed every night."

Maybe it's not so simple. 

"Well, that makes it a little weirder. But he'll get over it. You just have to wait it out."

Niall makes a face. "OK."

***

Zayn doesn't really think about it again until Liam comes home with him a few days later. He's got a slice of pizza halfway to his mouth when Liam says, "Do you know what's going on with Niall and Josh?"

"Josh fancies him," says Zayn, and takes a bite.

Liam keeps going. "Only I stayed over last night and he started hammering the door down at one am."

Zayn swallows and puts down his pizza. "Ok."

"He was screaming and kicking off. It was kind of scary. I told him to go home." Here Liam flushes pink. "He said some - stuff - about me and Niall."

Zayn feels a strange thrill up his spine. "What kind of stuff?"

Liam coughs. 

_Oh._

"I know people don't just lose it. But I think he might have?"

Zayn swallows but whatever's stuck in his throat refuses to budge. He's a terrible friend.

***

Niall's late to the shoot.

They're meant to be there eight am sharp, so they can get hair and makeup and wardrobe done. The people from the magazine look slightly pissed off. 

"Maybe he forgot to call a cab," says Harry. They're sat together in a corner, taking advantage of Niall's lateness by having a more leisurely than originally planned on set breakfast. 

Paul interrupts their huddle. "We need to get a move on if we're going to be done by twelve. Any luck getting hold of him?"

Liam shakes his head. "Straight to voice mail. I don't have the number for his other one."

"He turns his phone off sometimes, because-" Zayn cuts himself off abruptly.

Paul stares, like not having your phone turned on at all times is a totally alien concept. The lives they live, it pretty much is.

"It's probably just out of charge," says Liam, and Zayn's glad he's not the one who has to say it. He doesn't know why he's covering for Josh. There's nothing to cover for.

"He could be stuck in traffic. Or maybe he overslept," says Harry.

In the end there's not much they can do. Paul calls someone to go round and check that Niall's up and the rest of them start getting ready, so there's not too much of a backlog once he arrives. 

Niall shows up an hour later.

"And where've you been, good sir?" asks Louis, slinging an arm around his neck.

Niall stiffens, smiles jerkily. "Sorry, overslept." He smiles wider, a passable imitation of his usual grin. "Shall we crack on then?"

He's off during the shoot, just a little, but Louis and Harry notice, widening their eyes at each other whenever Niall laughs too loud or smiles too small. Liam's touching him a lot, but for once Niall seems to not appreciate it, leaning away and leaving him looking like a kicked puppy.

They drag Niall into a corner once they've finished, Harry pulling him down onto his lap and pinning his arms so he can't wriggle away. 

"Spill," says Louis. 

Niall sighs, spills.

***

More than anything, Louis is put out about not being the first to know. But that's because Niall's doing a solid job downplaying the whole thing.

"It's not a big deal. All he does is ring me and knock on my door."

"I agree," says Louis. "It's half-hearted stalking at best."

"Or maybe it's pro-stalking," suggests Harry. "Maybe he's _so_ good, you don't even know he's doing it. Maybe he's living in your house, hiding in your cupboards." 

"He's quite short," says Liam. "He _could_ be hiding in your cupboards."

"It's not stalking," says Niall, but he doesn't look too sure. 

"He tried to smash down your door," Zayn reminds him.

"He's just having a hard time. He'll get over it, you said so."

They all look at Zayn.

"That's terrible advice," says Harry. "Haven't you ever seen _Fatal Attraction_?"

"No?" 

"Well neither have I, but I'm pretty sure I know what happens. Hint: it's not anything good."

***

The following day sees Niall looking glum. They're in a car on the way to the radio station, and he doesn't say a word the whole time. Zayn can't really blame him - he'd be miserable too, if one of his best friends suddenly turned into a creep.

"It'll be ok, Nialler."

"It's not that. I've lost my mavs cap." 

"It's probably the new centerpiece of someone's shrine," quips Louis. 

Liam shoves him in the shoulder and he topples sideways onto Harry's lap with an indignant squawk. "You've probably just misplaced it." 

"I haven't. I don't leave any items of clothing that could be used as a container lying around anymore." Zayn flushes. 

" _Could_ Josh get into your flat?" asks Harry.

Niall shrugs. "Probably. I showed him how to climb up onto the terrace once when I'd locked us out."

Zayn's mouth falls open. "Jesus Christ, Niall." 

"He wouldn't do it," says Niall. "It'd be pretty rude, coming in after someone's already said you can't."

Zayn doesn't know if Niall's actually clueless or just in denial. "Oh, right. Well at least your stalker's well brought up."

Niall nods, like he actually does find that encouraging.

***

Rehearsals for the tour continue, and things are slightly tense. They're always hands-on, just because they like to touch each other, like being touched by each other. But they're doing it more now, Louis' fingertips resting on Niall's wrist, Harry walking so close that their ankles keep tangling. They're all watching Josh, too, and Zayn can see it's starting to unnerve him. Or maybe it's the way they're always on Niall.

They take turns staying at Niall's, but Josh doesn't make a late night appearance all week. He rings a lot the first time Zayn stays over, and Liam gives a similar account after his first night, but by Wednesday he seems to have calmed down. 

They make it to Sunday and after two totally Josh free days Zayn lets himself relax. Even so they all stay over, spread blankets and pillows on the floor of Niall's room and curl up together, just because it's been a while. Louis takes the bed, declaring that it's stupid to let it go to waste out of politeness, and the last thing Zayn hears before dropping off to sleep is Harry teasing him about having old man bones.

 

Zayn wakes slowly, and to the sound of thumping. Through the gloom he can read the alarm clock on the bedside table. Ten to three. 

"Boo." Louis' face appears next to his, and Zayn sits bolt upright and bites down on his tongue.

"Fucking hell, Louis."

"Shh. Someone's trying to break in."

Zayn pauses for a second to listen to the steady thump. "Fuck, fuck." He steps over bodies and scrambles around frantically for something that can be used to hit people, maybe, if it comes down to that. 

"Hurry up," whispers Louis from beside the door, unwilling to go any further alone. 

If they were in America he'd have a baseball bat, or if he knew where Niall kept his stuff he'd have a tennis racket, maybe a golf club. As it is he snatches up one of Harry's converse and trips over Liam's prone body.

"Fuck, Zayn-"

"Shh, someone's breaking in."

"What's happening?"

"Shh, shut up, Niall."

"Someone's breaking in, can't you hear?"

"What? Hey, dickhead, wake up." Niall leans over to shake Harry and he stirs, groaning.

"Can everyone shut the fuck up, please?" hisses Zayn. The thumping's stopped. 

They move down the corridor in a tangled parade, trying to tiptoe and bumping into the walls. Zayn passes the shoe to Liam, and Louis flaps at him until he sticks his head round the corner to peer into the living room. Whatever he sees reassures him enough that he steps into view. 

"Hi Josh."

The rest of them tumble in after Liam. Zayn watches Josh's eyes travel over them, cataloging rumpled hair and various levels of undress and Harry's nudity.

"Oh, right." 

He tries to twist his mouth up into a grin, but it looks more like he's about to be sick. Zayn waits for someone to say "you've got the wrong idea!", but no one does.

Josh holds up a small box with a brick tied to it. "I couldn't get through the double glazing." The glass is fractured where he'd tried. He's looking at Niall, waiting for him to say something. Harry and Louis switch their focus and Niall jerks under the weight of three sets of expectant eyes.

"Er, right." 

It's enough to make Josh smile. "I got you a new phone. You weren't answering my calls."

"Right," says Niall again. He takes half a step back. "Thanks. If you could-" he makes a complicated motion that Zayn guesses is meant to mean _exit via the terrace and scale back down the side of the house_ "-leave that on the floor? Sorry, we've got - stuff, in the morning."

"Right," says Josh. "Yes, ok." He puts the bundle down and backs out of the window. "Goodnight, I guess." They murmur goodnight in return and Josh vanishes.

Liam holds out a hand to stop the rest of them coming forward - Zayn, for one, wasn't planning on it - and ducks out after him, watching to make sure he gets back down to ground level. He tries to close the window, but something's been broken and it won't shut. 

"We should sleep in here, so we know if someone tries to sneak in," suggests Harry.

Louis objects. "And get murdered faster? No thanks."

In the end they settle for lining up glasses filled with teaspoons along the sill. That way anyone climbing in will knock them over, and the noise'll wake and warn them.

"Unless they're not blind - which, by the way, Josh isn't - in which case they'll just move them out of the way," says Louis. Zayn feels it wasn't necessary to point that out. 

They retreat back to the bedroom and shuffle a little closer to each other on the floor. 

Zayn stares at the ceiling. He looks over at the still lumps and wonders if they're lying awake too. He thinks he dozes for a bit, and then someone's stepping over him. Liam's voice cuts through the silence. 

"Where're you going?"

"Just to piss, Christ."

Zayn lies taut for the two minutes it takes for Niall to come back, carrying the bundle they'd left sitting on the living room floor. He settles himself back down and starts unpacking it.

"D'you want a brick?"

It takes Zayn a second and a brick held directly in his eye line to realize that Niall's talking to him. He stretches out an arm. "Thanks." 

Niall switches on the phone and starts swiping at the screen. Zayn watches the light flickering across his skin.

"Are you going to keep that?" Liam's voice interrupts the quiet once more.

Niall shrugs and shadows jump across his face. "Why not?"

***

In the morning they argue about what to do. Liam's in the benefit-of-the-doubt camp, Louis is on team fuck-him-he-should-be-arrested and Zayn's on the fence. Niall and Harry are in the bathroom, so they don't get to weigh in.

"He bought him a new phone." 

"He put it through his window." 

"His _open_ window."

"The window he pried open after he couldn't smash through the double glazing."

Liam handwaves Zayn's point. "It's not like he's trying to kill him."

Louis and Zayn share a look.

 

In the end it's Louis who decides they need to tell Paul. Liam argues. He doesn't feel good about getting Josh into trouble. 

"Yeah, well, you'll feel pretty fucking shit if something happens to Niall, won't you?," snaps Louis, and that shuts him up. Niall coughs, as though to remind them he's still there, but otherwise doesn't say anything. The rest of the drive passes in silence. 

As soon they reach the rehearsal rooms, Louis and Zayn go to Paul. 

"You're in early, for once."

Louis doesn't pause for pleasantries. "You need to get rid of Josh."

Paul's eyebrows climb up his forehead. "Oh do I?"

"I'm not fucking with you, Paul." Louis' voice is tense enough that that's obvious. "There's something wrong with him."

They tell him about what's been happening. Paul is not pleased. "Why the fuck is this the first I'm hearing about it?" Zayn feels slightly stupid. "And where's Niall?"

"In the car with Liam and Harry. Just in case Josh was already here."

"Not yet. I'll have a word with him when he gets in. _If_ he comes in," says Paul. "And then I'll be having words with you lot."

He calls Dan and Jon and Sandy, tells them they've got the day off. Louis goes to join the others, but Zayn hangs back. 

Josh shows up on time and Paul's on him before he even makes it to their usual room. Zayn watches them through reinforced glass. Paul looks serious, conciliatory but distant. You can't be sorry if you think you're doing the right thing, Zayn knows. He likes - liked - Josh, but he'd get rid of him a thousand times over if it made things better for the rest of them.

He sees Josh laugh. It looks forced. He walks away. 

Paul catches Zayn's eye and beckons him. Zayn pushes through the two sets of double doors and then he's out in the corridor. There's no sign of Josh. 

Paul scrubs a hand over his face.

"So he's gone, yeah?" 

Paul shakes his head, _no_. "It's not that easy. He's contracted out for this tour and anything else we need him for up to the end of 2013." Zayn opens his mouth but Paul cuts him off. "I _recommended_ he take a couple of weeks off, and he agreed. You can't just fire people like that, Zayn, you need a solid reason, proof of misconduct."

He looks at Zayn pointedly. "I don't suppose Niall's been keeping his messages?"

"He _has_ , actually. Texts and voice mails." They're not complete idiots. 

"Well that's something. Where's the rest of you?"

"Parked down the street. Can you save telling us off until tomorrow, please?"

Paul nods. "I reckon I can. Gives me time to make some calls."

"Thanks, Paul." Zayn starts down the corridor.

"And stick together, Christ. I'll send Preston around, he can kip on Niall's couch."

"Louis' couch," corrects Zayn. "Thanks."

 

The atmosphere at Louis' is subdued. Zayn bumps Niall with his shoulder. "You alright?"

Niall rolls his eyes. " _Yes._ " Apparently he's tired of people asking. He huffs out a sigh. "I feel shit about Josh, but yeah, I'm ok."

Zayn shrugs. "He just needs a break. He'll take a holiday, come back good as new." He hopes that's not true. Josh is ruined forever, doesn't need another chance to spoil things. 

"Yeah," says Niall. "Maybe." It doesn't sound like he believes it. 

They order Chinese for dinner and Louis brings out a stack of DVDs. They watch _Fatal Attraction_ in uneasy silence. 

"Brilliant choice, Louis," snipes Zayn.

"What?" says Louis, defensive. "We're educating ourselves!"

"Can we put something else on?" asks Liam. 

"I also bought _One Hour Photo_ and _Single White Female_." He fidgets but can't restrain himself. "Niall, you're the single white female."

Zayn doesn't know how Louis has lived this long.

***

Niall gets his window fixed and things go back to normal, mostly. Rehearsals are on hold until Josh comes back or is replaced, but they're still doing promo work, photo shoots and interviews and TV appearances. None of them complain about their days being less busy.

They don't hear anything at all from Josh in the week following the break in. Even so, they're all a bit on edge. Niall's starting to get visibly annoyed with all the hovering and his mood has a domino effect. Louis is more vicious, Harry's clingier and more full of bad jokes and Liam won't take off his overbearing father/batman hat. Zayn's stressed. He knows he's acting like a moody prat, but he can't seem to help it. He feels a bit guilty when he announces he's going home for the weekend, but reassures himself with the knowledge that his visit will ultimately benefit them all - well, not Liam, because he's a square. 

Zayn eats samosas and hugs his sisters and hangs out in the shed at the bottom of Danny's garden. 

He's in an excellent mood when he waltzes into their crisis update meeting at the Sony offices on Monday morning. Niall looks crabby and tired though, and Louis's more scathing than usual. Zayn reckons they all need to get together and unwind.

***

"I want M&Ms," whines Louis.

"Go and get some, then. The corner shop's not far."

Louis leans out of the open window and peers into the gloom. "D'you reckon Josh would go and get me some? If I said they were for Niall?"

Liam cranes his neck from where he sits, way on the other side of the room. "Josh isn't out there," he says, skeptical. Zayn's proud of him. He's stopped tugging his t-shirt up over his mouth. 

"Come and check for yourself," says Louis, but Liam's not falling for it.

Niall cackles, long and delighted. "He's not, he's not out there."

"Well, not that we can _see_."

Niall slumps across the window ledge, shoulders shaking with laughter.

***

Just as Zayn's getting used to their choppier schedule someone comes up with a new way to occupy their time.

They spend two days recording and filming an acoustic version of one of the new songs. It's easy and it feels like the tide's turning, like everything's starting to go right. The crew takes a few last shots of them singing into their mics and grinning at each other, and they wrap up filming early. 

The stairs outside the studio are slick under his shoes, and Zayn grips the rail as he makes his way down them. Ahead of him, Harry crashes to his knees.

"Oops, clumsy," says Liam, offering him a hand up.

"Not my fault," says Harry. "Someone must've spilled something."

Zayn feels a pricking at the back of his neck. He notices it more and more over the next couple of days - a strange sensation, like something's pressing in on him.

"Do you ever feel like someone's watching you?" he asks Niall. 

Niall looks at him, incredulous. Zayn feels like an arse. 

 

Harry falls down another flight of stairs before the week's out. 

"It was slippery! Someone probably spilled something, I don't know." He's stretched out across his sofa, twisted ankle propped up on a cushion and Louis draped across the frame like a cat. 

"What, again? That's an awful lot of spillages, Haz."

"People are clumsy," he says smoothly.

Niall snorts. "You would know." It devolves into a slap fight between the two of them, which Niall easily wins due to being able to move and thus attack from more than just one angle. 

"Well I think it's obvious what's happening here," says Louis, leaning forward on his elbows. "Josh is trying to kill us."

"Um," says Liam. 

"I bet he's got a folder full of pictures of Niall on his computer. Oh, I bet he's photoshopped himself into them!"

Zayn feels about as uncomfortable as Liam looks, but Niall doesn't seem bothered. "Why would he do that? There are plenty of pictures of us together already." 

"And I bet you'll be more careful about that in future." Liam frowns in confusion, but Louis doesn't give him time to catch up. "He's probably got a scrapbook with photos of the five of us, only all our faces are scratched out." He pauses to let Harry drop his phone and his jaw. "He's going to try and get rid of us so that he can have Niall all to himself." 

"Fuck _off_ , Louis. This isn't helping." Zayn knocks Louis' arm out from under him and he just narrowly avoids smacking his face on the armrest. 

It's only a matter of time until Harry's on board, giving ominous suggestions as to how Josh might do the deed. 

"He'll run you down on his skateboard." 

"I'll just ollie over him," says Zayn. He's not sure why he's also on a skateboard in this scenario. 

Harry eyes him skeptically. "Do you even know what that means?"

"Yes." says Zayn. He can google it.

***

It's too hard to keep track of stuff in the mess of dressing rooms and constant travel, and that applies especially to uniform-looking things like water bottles, so unless one of them is ill, they share.

Liam's been complaining about his throat all day. Today's interview isn't live though, so hopefully his moans will be edited out. 

"Just shut up," says Zayn "You're making it worse by talking."

Liam scowls. "Where's my water?"

He'd marked his bottle with a sharpie, like they used to do in the early days when swapping spit wasn't something they were so casual about. Louis tosses him an empty bottle with _Liam :)_ written across it. 

"Urgh." Liam grabs the fullest water bottle from the table and sets to work decorating it. When he's finished he holds it up. "Right, the one with the penguin on it is mine. If you drink it you'll suffer, a lot." He looks at Zayn with doe eyes, punishing him for his lack of sympathy.

"That looks like a cat," says Niall. 

Harry pulls the bottle out of Liam's hand and scrawls _DISEASE_ down the side in big block letters. "In case someone who doesn't understand the meaning of the penguin drinks it and gets sick." 

Liam takes a swig from the bottle and spits. 

"This isn't water."

Louis sniffs at it. "Fess up, who's developed a drinking problem?"

Niall gives the cap a tentative lick. "Someone who likes gin." Which is none of them, except for Louis when he's sufficiently smashed. 

"Maybe Josh's trying to poison you," suggests Harry idly. "Bump you off via the old kidney."

Louis looks almost annoyed by how little sense Harry's statement makes. 

"But I can drink now," protests Liam. "I've been healed."

"Maybe he doesn't know that." 

"I wrote it on twitter," says Liam. "Everyone knows."

"Maybe he doesn't follow you on twitter. Maybe he doesn't read your tweets."

Liam pretends to look scandalized and Louis rolls his eyes.

***

It's not that he actually believes that someone's out to get them, but it's true that a lot of strange things have been happening lately. Someone takes Obama's head and there's a brief panic - especially after Niall reminds them about what happened to Obama's arm - until they receive a ransom tweet from @Dannymcfly.

They congregate at Louis' to plot revenge and in the morning Harry cooks them breakfast. Louis wanders into the kitchen holding two milk bottles and looking bemused.

"Look," he says, thrusting one towards Zayn's face. "There's something wrong with my milk."

Zayn peers through the glass. Sure enough it looks off, solid wisps hovering at the bottom. Louis sticks the bottles on the worktop.

"You get your milked delivered?" asks Liam, intrigued.

"No. It's nice though, I might start."

"You should throw those away," advises Harry. "You could get salmonella from drinking that."

Zayn and Louis exchange uneasy glances. 

Niall coughs. "Erm. You guys are getting weird. Josh isn't doing anything, y'know? Paul told me he's gone to stay with his mum, and he's seeing a counselor, getting CBT." He shrugs uncertainly. "Paul says it's the best kind."

Zayn feels like bit of an idiot.

"CBT?" says Harry, a lazy grin spreading across his face. "Isn't that-"

Liam slaps a hand over his mouth. "Don't say it."

***

Jon finds them a replacement drummer. His name is Nick and he's tall and thin and he doesn't laugh, he snickers. They spend a solid week rehearsing furiously to make up for lost time and Nick's lack of familiarity with the songs. By the end of the first day, he and Niall are ready to announce their engagement.

Zayn's reserving judgment. 

Paul tells them that the advice from the lawyers is to hold off applying for a restraining order until after the tour. They've all changed numbers, blocked Josh from their email addresses and twitter accounts. The only way he can contact any of them is in person, and the tour'll put them further apart than a restraining order could anyway. "And I don't have a disease, you lot are a fucking nightmare to deal with and occasionally I need to relax. It was just the one time, Christ." 

Zayn's got no idea what Paul's talking about. 

"It seems anticlimactic," Louis says later.

"We're starting a world tour in two weeks," points out Niall. 

Liam hums. "But. You haven't been kidnapped. No one's boiled your pets."

"I don't have any pets."

Louis pushes his hand into Niall's face. "I _mean_ , where's our big finale? Josh goes for therapy and we go on tour?"

Harry tuts. "On a _world_ tour, Lou." 

"I'm not sure a few hours a week of therapy's going to fix this," says Zayn. He realizes too late that it sounds like he's saying _just wait, you might get your finale after all_. 

"Yeah, well." Niall reaches over to pinch the skin of his knuckle, and Zayn feels forgiven. "I guess we'll find out in three months."


End file.
